i dont think i can actually do this

I would do anything to not have the weight of three writing assignments due tomorrow (says the self-proclaimed writer). Fact of the matter is, I can't write about stuff that I don't want to write about. That isn't true. I am a ruthless procrastinator. Instead of doing anything scholastic, all I could find time to do today was : umm. ok. Yes. Today. I came home and drank some coffee because I almost fell asleep this morning on my way home. And granola. Why not, you know? Ginkgo. Ginky. I had two visitors today. Liz : stopped by for a hot minute to say hi and that was nice. Claudia : figure of my periphery. She floats in and out of my life like some current who is constantly influenced by some other thing. She gave me a CD. We smoked a cigarette out of the back of her van. I went to class. The sun shined, I swear, solely on me and I was sweating but forgot to put on deodorant this morning so I didn't want to take off my sweater.

I came home. That was three hours ago. I have about one page of a paper done. I have three papers due tomorrow. I feel like I am swimming against will, like someone threw me into a pool when I said "no, I don't want to swim at all" but I have to swim otherwise I'll drown. You know? 

Dear Spring Break,

You are so close to me. Hurry the fuck up. Thanks. 

Signed, 

Susan

fuck tomorrow and fuck my attention span right now. 

OH. The reason why I decided to blog. Two funny dialogues with my parents :

St. Patrick's Day:

"Green is the color of my envy" - Susan to Dad

"Green is the color of my underpants. It's 54 degrees and the earth is greening. I'm going home now" - Dad to Susan

About 3 minutes ago: 

[on the subject of the fact that my mom's sister is 6 years older than her and her brother is 12 years younger]

"well, this was back in the days when people wore condoms" - Linda

"WHAT?!" - Susan

"careful, don't knock over your glass of wine" - Linda (priorities, you know...)

"As if people don't still use condoms?" - clueless Susan

"well that was when that was the only means of contraception. when we were kids we used to go in daddy's drawer and see 12 boxes--" I cut her off

"Of unopened condom boxes?" -I say for her

"haha. Yeah pretty much" 

"Was grandpa a stallion?"

"yeah I think he was. He revealed this to me later in life" 

and so on. The subject turned somehow to douching. Really, a lot of ground was covered tonight. Linda is now baking me cookies downstairs because she feels bad for me and the scholastic landmines that hide in my path to freedom and happiness. The hedonist in me says, "hey! aint it wednesday? aint there, like, dollar drinks tonight?"

shut the fruck up, greve. focus focus focus focus focus. 

ok bye.